Nicole Scherzinger Covers Cosmopolitan UK: Bulimia Almost Cost Me My Voice

Posted Wednesday July 2, 2014 9:23 AM GMT

Nowadays she’s a happy and successful pop star but there was a time when Nicole Scherzinger didn’t have much hope.

In her cover story for British Cosmopolitan, the “Boomerang” babe confessed that during her time with the Pussycat Dolls she felt trapped by a serious eating disorder.

“I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world, but I was miserable on the inside. It is such a horrible, paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me.”

Nicole continued, "I didn't think anyone knew in my group or in my family because I hid it that well, I was so ashamed. I knew it wasn't normal or healthy because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating."

Pretty soon her bulimia began affecting her ability to function and even her singing took a hit. "I had started losing my voice, I couldn't sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France. I thought, 'I'm going to lose everything I love if I don't love myself' … I’m never letting that happen again; you only get one life -- I was 27 only once."

As for her trick to beating stage fright, Scherzy shared, "I get past my shyness by making everything about others and not thinking about myself. That's what I did on The X Factor -- I can be goofy and playful when it's about the acts. They are like my babies. But when I'm off stage, I'm not as big and animated."

And Nicole is looking forward to what the future holds for her six-year relationship with Lewis Hamilton. "It’s something crazy romantic. Relationships are hard and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder. It’s kudos to us for growing and trying -- there’s so much love there. It’s just the distance, it’s not natural for anyone. But I’m good and I’m happy.”

Photo Credit: James White for Cosmopolitan