Will & Kate’s Soon-to-be-Born Baby: Merchandising Mayhem!

Posted Friday July 12, 2013 7:00 AM GMT

It’s easily the biggest event of the year, and when Kate Middleton gives birth to Prince William's baby this month, there will be plenty of money to be made.

As expected, there are all kinds of Royal-baby-themed novelties on the market already, however the mystery surrounding the name and gender of the child has created a bit of an obstacle for creating more personalized goods.

For example, fine bone china craftsman Sophie Allport has resorted to taking pre-orders for her mugs, contingent on Will & Kate’s choice of moniker for their bundle of joy. "We've never done something like this so I hope it works.”

British Ceramic Confederation CEO Francis Morrall agreed- "All of the designs will have been prepared months ago.”

Still, creative capitalists have come up with a full line of products (think “I Love Uncle Harry” and “Born to Rule” slogans) that are already market-ready.

Here are the top five crazy baby creations commemorating the arrival of the future Prince or Princess of Cambridge!

1. Royal Baby Sick Bags [$4.55 each]

These clever favors serve a dual purpose, both for expectant mothers who want to feel close to Royalty during their morning sickness cycle as well as for folks who are already nauseous from the world’s obsession with the celebrated progeny.

2. “Keep Calm My Granny is the Queen” Baby Onesie [$40]

The Prince or Princess of Cambridge will no doubt be an instant fashion trendsetter, so why not get started early with this adorable little ensemble? It’s doubtful that Kate will actually take her little one out in public wearing such a garment, but it sure looks comfortable for romping around Buckingham Palace.

3. “Shhh! Don’t Wake the Royal Baby” Book [$9]

For new parents the world over, this new publication might just be the perfect way to incorporate Royal Baby fever into the story-before-bed routine. The opening line states, “It’s chaos at the Royal Palace—the Royal Baby just won’t go to sleep. Waaaaah! Waaaaah! Waaaaah!”

4. Royal Baby Biscuit Tin [$60]

The perfect snack for camping out in front of the television as the Duchess of Cambridge goes into labor, the Royal Baby Biscuit Tin from London’s Biscuiteers bakery includes cookies shaped like booties, rattles, bottles, and a rocking horse. Chances are, they taste as good as they look!

5. Royal Baby Stone Plaque [$70]

While most parents don’t even have an engraved mantelpiece for their own baby’s arrival, the Rustic Stone company hopes that enthusiasts will be eager to get their hands on a commemorative stone plaque in honor of Will & Kate’s kid. The etching declares, “Commemorating the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge Royal Birth- July 2013.” However, on the off-chance that Baby Cambridge is a few weeks late, these will hit the bargain bin faster than Prince Harry got naked in Vegas.

Photo Credit: Getty Images, AFP