With all the chatter about Will Smith’s upcoming Seven Pounds hitting theaters next week, I thought it’d be appropriate to take a trip down memory lane. Ever since Big Willy starred in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, he’s not only made millions of dollars and a portfolio of blockbuster films (with only a few duds along the way), but he’s given men around the world an arsenal of tips and pick-up lines for attracting the opposite sex.

In the spirit of all things good and Big Willy style, I present you with the Fresh Prince’s guide to picking up women, as observed through select on-screen performances.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990-1996)

When Will Smith was still a kid from West Philly, living with Uncle Phil and family in Beverly Hills, his game was still in the developmental stages. His success with the ladies came in ebbs and flows, but he was always quick with the one-liners. Some widely recognized all time favorites include: “Hey baby, you look so good I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y’all,” and “I think I’ve seen your picture before: it was in the dictionary right next to ‘Kablaaaaaam!’” No matter how many times the Fresh Prince’s cat-calls and jokes got shot down, like a true womanizer, he always came back for more. Check out this clip of him getting into the ring with hottie Helena (played by Galyn Gorg) from season six. Kablaaaaaaam!

And for those true die-hard Fresh Prince fans, enjoy this compilation of his best pick-up lines throughout the series’ six years run. It’s not that the Fresh Prince thought women were pieces of meat, he just knew that he was constantly hungry for them. He was a model for perseverance, and an inspiration to us all.

Wild Wild West (1999)

Almost universally panned by critics and audiences alike, Wild Wild West marks an uncharacteristic moment in the Fresh Prince’s evolution, both as an actor and a ladies man. While battling all sorts of stupid technological weapons alongside Marshall Gordon (played by Kevin Kline), the Fresh Prince’s character, Jim West, experiences his most notable romantic success in the opening moments of the film (and it’s pretty much downhill for him from there). The dialogue leading up to the tonsil hockey (video featured below) was, quite simply, lame:

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EXT. OPEN COUNTRY FIELD – NIGHT

Jim nestles a half-naked SEXY MADAM in a bubbling hot tub.

SEXY MADAM
The legendary Captain James West.
And I finally got him all to myself.
JIM
And surely you should feel free
to treat him just... bad.
SEXY MADAM
Darling.

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And then they start making out, and the Fresh Prince is distracted by oncoming bad guys the whole time. Like I said: kinda lame.

The confidence/directness that the Fresh Prince practiced and preached throughout his hallmark TV series is completely absent in this movie. He concentrates on fighting evil guys, bickering with Kevin Klein, and he never closes the deal with the movie’s drop dead gorgeous leading lady, Rita (played by Selma Hayek). You can see him clumsily oogling over her in the scene below, which showcases Selma’s ‘melt in your mouth, not in your hand’ backside.

The Fresh Prince’s only saving grace with Wild Wild West is that it gave birth to a hip-hop song that is so ridiculous that it’s also downright hilarious. I can’t tell you how many times I sang this one after it came out, and even if I could, well… I would lie to your face. But still, that doesn’t excuse the Fresh Prince for this flop of a movie and his failure to teach us anything about picking up women. I mean, we already knew that hip-hop artists can pick up women with a drop of the hat (or crisp Benjamin). My two favorite ironies of the music video: 1) it begins with the Fresh Prince lying in bed with Selma and 2) he uses the verb “bum-rush” (at 1min 30secs) like it’s a word used exclusively by tough guys.

Ali (2001)

In his Oscar winning role as Muhammad Ali, the Fresh Prince gets his “mack” back in gear. Although the movie isn’t as concerned with Ali’s personal life as his boxing career, the audience still comes away with some lessons about dealing with/ picking up women.

The beginning portion of the movie showcases the Fresh Prince playing opposite his gorgeous, real life wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. After a passionate, albeit brief, marriage, the Fresh Prince/Ali talks his way into another beautiful woman’s heart, Belinda Boyd (played Nona Gaye). Throughout the movie, the Fresh Prince flawlessly embodies Ali’s confidence and applies it to all interactions with the opposite sex. The result is an obvious ability to get any woman he wants (which, like the ability to read minds or visualize everyone in an audience naked, can lead to negative consequences). Consider this exchange with Jada after their characters meet and then sleep with each other that same evening. No beating around the bush here – he’s in control of the scene the entire time.

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INT. SONJI'S APARTMENT - WINDOW - NIGHT (1964)

PULL BACK from being above Chicago in the winter at night to Ali and Sonji making love...

ALI
I think I gonna keep you around forever, girl.
SONJI
(laughs)
Well, I'm not too busy right now, so...I'll think on it.
ALI
I ain't jokin'! I always know when I know. See this face? I mean, you got a pretty face for a girl's face, but you ever seen somethin' as pretty as me? Now, you about five-foot-three...that's too small. But I overlook that, too, 'cause...
SONJI
(sarcastic)
Thank you so much.
ALI
...'cause of your spirit!
SONJI
My "spirit"...?
ALI
Yeah. 'Cause you too much fun!
SONJI
You serious?

She raises his head next to hers, looks in his eyes.

ALI
But you gotta be a Muslim.
SONJI
Huh? How you do that? Step over a broom...shazaam...you a Muslim?

She laughs. He rests his head on her stomach. He likes her irreverence...

ALI
Maaan, I ain't never been with a girl like you.

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Ali is famous for his confident, dare I say egotistic, quotations, many of which the Fresh Prince drew upon in the movie. Favorites of mine include: “I am the greatest,” and an appropriate companion, although not featured in the movie, “I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.” Check out this clip that very much epitomizes the role confidence played in the Fresh Prince’s portrayal of Ali. It’s no wonder Ali was married four times. Egomania city, y’all.

Hitch (2004)

In Hitch, the Fresh Prince plays a professional date doctor with all the answers. While successfully setting up other men with women out of their league, he learns a thing or two himself through his relationship with gossip columnist Sara Melas (played by bombshell Eva Mendez). Throughout the film, the Fresh Prince’s character, Hitch, very much practices what he preaches: “any man can sweep any woman off her feet – all he needs is the right broom.” The audience comes away with an appreciation for the power of self-worth and perseverance as well as the pitfalls of self-deprecation. And of course, a disarming wit and playing “hard to get” can be useful tricks for wooing a lady – particularly if the lady already believes she’s out of your league. Check out this clip of the Fresh Prince meeting Eva Mendez for the first time. Take notes if you want.

Hancock (2008)

While many might argue that the Fresh Prince’s game reached a peak in Hitch, his role as a drunk, reluctant superhero in Hancock should not be overlooked. As the titular superhero, endowed with crazy strength, speed, and even the ability to fly, it’s obvious that the Fresh Prince’s character could probably score any woman he wants, especially those who read comic books as children. And even though the movie is more concerned with his emotional, rather than romantic, progression, we still learn a good deal from the Fresh Prince’s cat chases – principally, the effectiveness of “playing it cool.” With literally no effort, for example, he brings home a sexy (albeit trashy) damsel and gives her the works. And by works, I mean his climactic spoog ends up puncturing holes in the roof.

The importance of “playing it cool” also comes across in the Fresh Prince’s interaction with leading lady Mary (played by Charlize Theron) after he discovers that she’s also a superhero. Rather than try to impress her with his charm and one-liners, as an early Fresh Prince may have tried, this time he places greater importance on his own edification/amusement. He doesn’t end up sleeping with Theron, but you can tell she wants to jump his bones later in the movie, and sometimes that’s a victory in itself: the balance of power, after all, is crucial in all remotely romantic relationships, regardless of whether superheroes are involved. Check out this instructive, and pretty hilarious, scene below.

Seven Pounds (2008)

Although Seven Pounds hasn’t hit theaters yet, it’s clear that the Fresh Prince will be practicing a slightly different approach to women in this one. Judging from the trailers I’ve seen, he seems to be trading his very machismo confidence, highlighted in prior examples, in exchange for a more sincere, almost hokey, aura. The Fresh Prince will still be a fan of the quick one-liner (ideal for trailer sound bytes), but it’s all geared towards treating his leading lady (played by Rosario Dawson) as a queen rather than a piece of meat – which a good thing, I suppose. Assuming that Seven Pounds is as predictable as the trailer suggests, The Fresh Prince’s tactics will prevail and he’ll ultimately end up with Rosario. Sincerity, audiences will learn for the umpteenth time, is key to winning a woman’s heart. Check out the trailer below.

Over the past two decades, the Fresh Prince has starred in some of the most entertaining movies of our time and taught audiences more than a fair share from his dealings with women. It’s been a joy to watch him evolve both as an actor and as a ladies man.

Moreover, even if the Fresh Prince has never directly helped you get laid, at least you can be thankful he never starred in a Wild Wild West II. That would be a little too “wicky wicky wild” for the world to stomach.

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